Perspectives On My Pilgrimage

My ponderings and views regarding my journey as a follower of Jesus Christ, Wife, Mom, Mentor and Friend

Purpose of Blog

I started this blog to share about how I view things that are going on in my sphere of influence by my understanding of what the bible teaches and my experiences.  I am hoping that I meet new people that are interested in engaging these topics.


Featured post

A Letter to My Mom 37 Years After Her Death

Mom, Dad & Me

I have been thinking a lot about you as I normally do especially as we are nearing your birthday tomorrow November 11; however, this year it is different because I met someone that told me you were their best friend. It shocked and pained me as I have not met anyone in the past 37 years since your death say that to me. I asked dad for pictures of you so I would not forget what you look like but how I can do that since I see your face each time I look in the mirror. Your voice is etched in my mind. I also remember your beautiful hands exposed on the light -weighted blanket as you lay in the casket. I have your hands too! These hands long to touch you again.

Although you and dad were separated, the sudden, tragic way your life ended due to a drunk driver has impacted your husband, sons, and I in a profound way. We each coped with this loss the best way we knew how. My days and nights were filled with a range of emotions as I searched for my identity in all the wrong places.

I have so many questions for you that will not be answered. Were you drunk too as you rode with him on that fateful night? Did you know when you came to visit us that night it would be the last time my brothers or I would hear the words “I love you from your lips?  Would you be proud of me? How would you interact with your son-in-law and your grandchildren? How would you look now? What would your health be like? What would your state of mind be like?  How would you have responded when I told you that some of my peers said hurtful things about you? Would these questions not be answered because you think it best to stay away? Are you in heaven rejoicing with the Savior of the world? I sure hope so. I hope that I see you in that place where I will not experience separation in this way ever again.

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and their shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4

Happy Birthday Mom!


Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. He has done just that by uncovering roots of anger and jealousy in my heart. Today as I was on my walk and agreeing with the Lord in regard to the revelation of jealousy specifically; I was thinking about instances where I compared myself to others based on their platform and physique (the Holy Spirit was reminding me that I am rejecting myself as His image bearer when I do this and if I want to look better I am responsible for living a consistent lifestyle of wellness.) All of a sudden I hear footsteps behind me and you talk about confirmation or a test I see these two fit people! I asked them if they were personal trainers. They responded that they help people live their best self. We had a good time getting acquainted.

God purposed His image bearers to have authority over what He has given us. My preconceived notions and presumptions hinder my taking dominion over any insecurity and inferiority and affects how I relate to others. I thank the Lord that I did not let jealousy cause me to miss an opportunity to meet some good people today!

Genesis 1:26-28, Psalm 139:23-24

Bible verses ESV and NLT

#lovecoversamultitudeofsins #takingcareofmytemple

When was the Last Time You Prepared for Easter

Pastor Joe Allen today during chapel asked “When is the last time you prepared for Easter?” Not making sure that dinner is prepared, eggs are colored for Easter egg hunts for the children, or your hair is done, fresh mani and pedi, coordinated outfit and accessories; but have you set aside time, specifically during this time to reflect on what Jesus life, death and resurrection did for you.

I do not recall ever preparing for Easter in respect to setting aside time to reflect on why Good Friday is good news for me. As I do reflect, I can’t help but think of how the weight of the sin of the world felt to Jesus who knew no sin. Knowing that not all people would believe that He is the One sent into the world to redeem us from the yoke of sin and death. If Jesus did not go to the cross with the intent to die and rise again there would be no hope for mankind. Pain management is all I could possibly muster as I’m faced with evil in its fullness. There is no way I could fight or stand against it! Celebrating Good Friday is available to all! How will you respond?

#thankful #forgiven #goodfriday #thankyouJesus #dtschapel

2017 Reflections

If I had to define this year I would call it A Year of Firsts.

I gained understanding regarding the sphere of influence I have at home and in my community to make disciples. On campus I serve a small group of women as a Spiritual Formation Group Leader. I also served as Secretary for the Arise Women Student Fellowship Board. These opportunities challenge shape and develop me.

Physical challenges hindered me from preparing a Thanksgiving meal last year something I enjoy doing for family and friends as I was recovering from having a benign mass removed from my pelvis November 17. On December 30, a month and a half later I had a surprise thyroidectomy. As days, weeks and months passed I gained strength and was able to complete a brutal half-marathon and prepare Thanksgiving meal this year for my loved ones. Now today as I participated in worship service I celebrate this first year of my recovery. I enter into the new year with praise and awe of all the mighty things the LORD allows to get my attention in order to bring Him glory.

#reflection #thanksgiving #glory #LORD #newyear

I’ve Finished the Race

On Saturday, November 18, 2017 I completed the most difficult half-marathon (13.1 mile) course.  I did not finish in the way that I wanted.  My goal was to finish in two hours and thirty minutes it took me three hours and thirty-nine minutes.   Prior to the start of the race our bibs stated

You Can. You Will.

These words served as a reminder that in spite of how difficult the course “YOU CAN. YOU WILL CROSS THE FINISH LINE!”  I felt prepared for this race as I have completed these races before; however, this race was different.  I encountered obstacles sooner than before.  By the time I reached mile 5 my legs felt heavier and each mile appeared to have a hill that I had to climb. Emotionally I wrestled with thoughts of cheating.  There were opportunities along the course to take advantage and cross over,  and cut some miles and time off as there were not any run officials that could be seen throughout the course.

thoughts of cheaing perfect cross over

By mile 6 the winds started pushing against me and I began feeling pain in different parts of my body. I knew that if I stopped moving I would not finish the race.   Thoughts of being a failure mounted.  If I cheat or quit that is not finishing the race.  How could I with conviction encourage the children and youth in my life that when they are faced with difficult circumstances that “THEY CAN. THEY WILL” because Christ lives in them and strengthens them.  I finished the race, earned a couple of medals and am proud of that accomplishment.  These medals will tarnish, fade or be thrown away although I physically trained hard for them.  There is another race I am training for –Godliness (it requires discipline by spending time in God’s Word so I learn to think rightly of God) so I can trust His Providence in any circumstance.  When my race is done as I cross the finish line I will receive a crown of righteousness that will never tarnish, get thrown away or fade away!   This is  the greatest reward that benefits me now and forever and I pray it is the same for you too!



“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:25-27

Ram in the Bush

6D80C72B-99D4-47BD-9B32-35CA8EEE056F As Inam getting closer to participating in a half marathon I continue to be reminded of how important community is. There are times I needed the encouragement, challenge and motivation to just show up. About two weeks ago I noticed a woman running for exercise while her child was in dance rehearsal. I thought how wise to use this time to exercise instead of sitting and waiting for an hour. This was also great for me as lately with other obligations along its toll, I have been unable to meet up with my running group on Thursday.

I was dressed and ready to hit the pavement this evening. I had the pleasure of joining Erica (the lady I noticed a couple weeks ago). We got in a little over three miles. It felt good getting it in this evening. I am so thankful to the LORD for providing “the ram in the bush” (this opportunity for me to run with Erica.)



I Don’t Want to Be Disqualified Pt. 2

In order to finish anything that requires endurance one must become acquainted with what is necessary in order to accomplish the goal that they are aiming for. In my quest to complete a half marathon faster I must submit to the trainers that have been placed in my life that are helping to reach my goal which is to finish at a faster pace.

If I want to win the prize and fight the good fight of faith I must submit to the process of spiritual disciplines that encourage me to grow in my faith so I can fight the good fight and win the prize. Not the sense of accomplishment that will fade away with time but the eternal prize of spending my life with Jesus when I finish the race on earth. I must submit to the leadership of my husband, pastor, professors, mentors, small groups and my friends that are in this struggle against satisfying the desires of the flesh. It is hard to see areas that need to be addressed even when you think you know yourself. In my prior post I mentioned that I am using a smart device that measures my heart rate, oxygen capacity, distance, time while training for a 13.2 mile marathon and it is not accurate. If I would have just depended on this device I would have fallen short of crossing the finish line. I do not want that to be my story as I run my race for an crown that will not be thrown away or fade.


I Don’t Want to Be Disqualified

“Run in such a way as to get the prize.” 1 Cor. 9:24(b)

I am training to complete a half marathon. My goal is to be under three hours completing a total of 13.3 miles. I have completed thus far about four half marathons that took me 3 1/2 hours.

I am training in order to gain the prize. The feeling of accomplishment I get when I finish the race. The satisfaction of loosing some weight and meeting new people that are participating in the race as well. One of the tools that I am using is a Garmin Vivosmart. This device learns my activity level and assigns a personalized daily goal as I wear it. Like most fitness apps with a heart rate monitor you can keep track of heart rate, distance, time and most importantly measure VO2 max (endurance during training).

I started training about a month ago and was so excited because the Vivosmart recorded my time at a much faster speed then I ever paced. However, I realized quickly that I am not running as fast as I was led to believe when I ran with my running group-Black Girls Run!

My first response was anger as I felt that I was being deceived. I then decided to use a free running app to compare. This app measures time and distance. After my run it showed that I was running at a slower pace and less distance as did my group. When I attempted to use the app and Vivosmart again, the app froze.

This experience has brought to light that I must have the following things active in my life if I do not want to be disqualified by giving up. Accountability with people that are desiring to do the same thing. To complete a half marathon at a faster pace; this is where Black Girls Run comes in, they help me with motivation as they are committed. Community that forms as we spend time together pursuing the same goal. Although technology is a useful tool and I’m appreciative of it; it limits me in being a part of a community that I can engage up close and personal. I also do not have to concern myself with measuring how I am doing when the app or activity tracker stops working because of loss of connectivity because I know how long we determined to run and the time it takes to finish. Having this accountability in place brought to light that my Vivosmart is not working properly. This truth would not have been revealed to me if I was not running with other people.

In my spiritual and emotional life the principles of accountability and community hold true as well. Like the Apostle Paul I do not want to run a race for temporary benefits but for eternal benefits I want to say ” I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:7

Running for Freedom

As I prepared to participate in the Race2Rescue Her on Saturday I was filled with so many emotions that ranged from sadness, disbelief, anger and hatred because exploitation of people for profit is never right. I am grateful to the LORD for RescueHer as they are one of the ministries that are in the trenches preventing, rescuing and restoring the lives of these girls. Their purpose is summarized in Proverbs 31:9 “Speak out for the poor and helpless and see that they get justice.”
As I get ready to turn 50 I am reminded that it was 50 days after Jesus resurrection that the baptism of the Holy Spirit brought in a new age in regard to God’s presence living within those that believe Jesus is the One that saves and delivers us from the dominion of sin. Will you speak out with and celebrate this milestone in my life by donating your treasure and/or time to this organization. 

#rescueher #R2R #IranforKataya #notoexploitation

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